The perfect checklist exists
Your amazing eyes, tall figure, arms that seem to wrap me in a daze
A quiet mouth, a stable head in between those lean shoulders
The patient way you wait for me to make a decision
The loving way you insist that we take cabs because I hate sweating but appreciating long walks while I dabble with my nonsensical short stories and useless trivias
Your peace while we sit in silence for three hours waiting for both our rides
The way you’re comfortable in your own skin, how lovely it is in the company of your total opposite
Even our stars as my featherbrain believes them, align
Everywhere they say, “he loves his mother as much as you love yours”
Everywhere I go, I hear “he’s good for you”
Everywhere I look, I know in my heart of hearts you’re everything I could ever want
But.
I want better for you
I want someone who looks at you how you look at me
I crave to have that sparkle in your eye when you hear me speak
I want to feel that need to know what makes your brain tick, your eyes sad, your lips angry, your heart happy, your fingers tremble in agony
And I have searched in the cobwebs of this fragile, pieced up mess of a heart and my jaded brain and I have found myself, not wanting.
How much have I racked my brain to feel something, anything just to give you all the love you deserve and need because you only deserve the best
And in this season, this cracked timeline, I feel myself short.
In a perfect parallel universe, I will give you all the time in my world
Going on your favorite shows, helping you write the songs to sing
Welcoming you in my messed-up world, letting you help me
Showing me off, you allowing me to show you off and see how your shy smile crinkles your eyes
Loving you with all that I have, fighting with you if need be
But for now, let me say thank you for making me feel beautiful and treating me right
For being that solid anchor that everyone needs
For being you, and for appreciating the real me
For knowing my favorites and dislikes
For initiating to know and loving my friends because you know how much I love them
For listening to me and giving me your time
For allowing me the space I needed to breathe
For not rushing me and being gentle with me
For allowing me to walk away
For giving me the space to love myself first
I wouldn’t be able to stand today without you
May the universe return all that you give and more because
You are, the perfect man.
And all I want to say is, thank you for stopping by.
